Dreams - Finding a New One

Where to begin? It's been awhile so bear with me. I'm doing Beth Moore's bible study on "Breaking Free" and am doing a lot of "soul searching" in myself. I'm in Part IV about Dreams Surpassed & Obedience that Lasts and am realizing I don't know what my dream is right now! I love how Beth Moore compares our lives to fairy tales we all loved as young girls. Living in a castle, waiting for our Prince Charming and when he arrives, we live happily ever after! Isn't that what we're suppose to have in life? YES IT IS! But.... not the way I think we all had thought it would be. Life is life & things happen to us, around us & thru us that we can't control.

There are 4 dreams from the "fairy tale" that we do carry in some aspects into our real lives:
1 - To be a bride
2 - To be beautiful
3 - To be fruitful
4 - To live happily ever after

In my "soul-searching" I've realized I've had the first 3 of these dreams fulfilled in my life (#4 will happen when I meet Jesus!) and very grateful for that! When I was young, my best friend & I had a dream... we were going to graduate from high school, pack our stuff & move to Dallas to become interior designers. We were going to work for the rich & famous so we would become rich & famous! We had it all planned out... where we would live, steps we would take to get us to our goal, etc.... but.. life happened.

I moved, we lost touch, I got pregnant & married & life happened.... I look back now & know God had a plan & still does. I wouldn't change any aspect of my life as it is but my example is to show that our dreams are not always our own. God has other dreams for us if we just ask & look for them.

My family became my next dream... who they would be, what they would be like, how they would grow up. I had so many dreams for their futures and I must say, they didn't turn out as I had dreamed... they came out better than I could've imagined!! We gave them over to Christ & let Him guide their steps thru life and are seeing the results in 2 godly men!!

During the later time of raising our family... we began to dream again. What would life be like "after" the kids leave??  This one is much harder! We had dreams of being debt free, having free time & ability to "do" whatever we want to! Travel, home improvement, garden.... whatever! Well.... here it is a little over a year later & I have no clue what my real dream is!! Chapter 26 - To Be Fruitful of "Breaking Free" made me focus on this more & began a stirring inside me. All the years our kids were teenagers, we spent a lot of time with our youth groups! I mean A LOT! Our family vacations were youth trips. I poured myself into these kids & have seen many lives changed over the years. The chapter about being fruitful discussed having spiritual children & I totally feel that's what I had in addition to my own.

Lately tho... that desire has been dwindling in me. The desire to be totally emerged in the youth has been changing. I've been fighting it because I LOVE TEENAGERS! They're fun & smart & need so much guidance.  I don't know if God is moving me away to begin something new or if I'm just suffering from empty-nest syndrome & don't have a desire for anything right now. I'm having to question myself about my purpose & usefulness in some areas and trying to figure myself out at this point. My direct dreams (my kids) have moved on to dreams of their own & now I have to FIND MY DREAM AGAIN! In Luke 1:5-7 Elizabeth was "barren" because God had something special for her. I believe I'm in a "barren" place waiting on my "something special" from God.

Matthew 28:19 (NLT) Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations,t baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.

Genesis 1:28 (NLT) Then God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern it. Reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and all the animals that scurry along the ground.”

I can't assume my fruitfulness has ended....

Titus 2:4 (NLT) 4These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, 5 to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes,t to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.

I have a recurring "thing" that keeps showing up when I least expect it and I'm tyring to reason it out to see if it's from God or my need to feel useful again as a spiritual guide. Ch. 26 had one poignant statement that really settled on my heart the other day.... "I will always have the opportunity to "mother" a few spiritual offspring as long as I am willing to invest myself!" So.... I'm trying to work thru this "need" I'm having and am praying about it with my whole heart to see if it's the right decision & direction. I'm being elusive about the "thing" because I haven't even mentioned it to my husband at this point. It would be a total commitment for both of us and a life changing event so I want to be clear that it's from God before making the next step. Until then, I'm searching for my DREAM ;-) ever changing as it may be ;-)

My verse thru this all has been Psalm 48:14 (NLT) - "For that is what God is like. He is our God forever and ever, and He will guide us until we die."  He is my guide, my road-map, my Dream! He's my Prince Charming!

Storms, Trials, Tribulations....

Never like to get a call in the morning from our son who is in Australia. That means it's after midnight & he's got a problem! Well... got one of those calls this morning.... he was headed home from a church service where he is the music team leader & had his house mates with him when his car broke down! What do we do from here? PRAY! They had another friend who came out to pick them up to get them home for the night but his day will begin with finding a tow truck to bring the car to his house, then to diagnose the problem. This financial expense comes on the heels of us trying not to get our house insurance dropped because they've decided we need to paint & put on new siding ($$$), our business having a very slow start financially this year,  getting our son's car insurance & registration paid for for this year & trying to save for our trip to Australia later this year..... Man, when it rains it pours!!

I got behind on my daily reading so this morning I read yesterday's word & today's word & both of them apply to my feelings this morning about this financial situation facing us....

2 Chronicles 20:15 (NLT)
He said, “Listen, all you people of Judah and Jerusalem! Listen, King Jehoshaphat! This is what the Lord says: Do not be afraid! Don’t be discouraged by this mighty army, for the battle is not yours, but God’s.

**We may not fight an enemy army, but every day we battle temptation, pressure, and Satan, who wants us to rebel against God. Remember, as believers, we have God's Spirit in us. If we ask for God's help when we face struggles, God will fight for us. And God always triumphs.

 

Job 1:9-10 (NLT)
9Satan replied to the Lord, “Yes, but Job has good reason to fear God. 10 You have always put a wall of protection around him and his home and his property. You have made him prosper in everything he does. Look how rich he is!

**Satan attacked Job's motives, saying that Job was blameless and had integrity only because he had no reason to turn against God. Satan wanted to prove that Job worshiped God not out of love but because God had given him so much. Satan accurately analyzed why many people trust God. They are fair-weather believers, following God only when everything is going well or for what they can get. Adversity destroys this kind of superficial faith. But adversity strengthens real faith by causing believers to dig their roots deeper into God in order to withstand storms. How deep does your faith go? Put the roots of your faith down deep into God so that you can withstand any storm you may face.

I'm praying for the strengthening of my faith during this time of adversity!! Lord, as your word says....  or the battle is not mine, but Yours God!

On any normal day before this group bible study, before my commitment to fasting & praying, before my head change... I would've fallen to pieces over all these issues facing us. Today... I stood in my bathroom & cried out to God for his hand in these situations!! I stood firm that we've had enough of Satan & his hand in this. He has no dominion over our household or our lives!!  I felt a bit like Job this morning when we came under more attack from the enemy but ha ha Satan! I know who is in control of my life & what His word says!! I know you have no place here and MY GOD REIGNS!

Daily Reading Day #18

S - If you are not willing to serve him, decide today whom you will serve, the gods your ancestors worshiped in Mesopotamia or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are now living. As for my family and me, we will serve the LORD. ~ Joshua 24:15

O - The people had to decide whether they would obey the Lord, who had proven his trustworthiness, or obey the local gods, which were only handmade idols. It's easy to slip into a quiet rebellion-going about life in your own way. But the time comes when you have to choose who or what will control you. The choice is yours. Will it be God, your own limited personality, or another imperfect substitute? Once you have chosen to be controlled by God's Spirit, reaffirm your choice every day.

A- What are our idols today? Family, activities, television, computer, food.....??? What is it that keeps us from spending ANY time with God other than at church?

This was my reading from yesterday (Sunday) & today's reading had this too....

Micah answered, "What do you mean, 'What's the matter?' You take my priest and the gods that I made, and walk off What have I got left?"

Micah made idols and hired a priest to run his personal religion. When the men of Dan took his idols and priest, nothing remained. What an empty spiritual condition! An idol is anything that takes God's place in a person's life. Some people invest all their energy in pursuing money, success, possessions, or a career. If these idols are taken away, only an empty shell is left. The only way to protect yourself against such loss is to invest your life in the living God, whom you can never lose.

 

Why would I want to follow an empty idol and find that when it's gone I have NOTHING left??

 

P - Lord, fill my emptiness with You! Fill my idle time with You. Help me remember what satisfies my soul, that's it's You & not anything on this earth that's created by man or any activity or any person... It's You & You alone. Thank you Lord for loving us!

I LOVE God confirmations!!

This is my daily reading for today & just had a WOW! moment from God! I just love reading the bible study posts each day & hearing what others are going thru and being able to share my own struggles. The most amazing part of all this is the way God is revealing Himself to each of us in our daily reading, our bible study reading & thru each other!! I just read my daily scripture & feel it and the additional content that came along with it were all words from God to each of us and it goes hand in hand with our Beth Moore bible study. In the study we've learned 5 benefits to the daily experience of being a child of God...
1- To know & believe God
2- To glorify God
3- To find satisfaction in God
4- To experience God's peace
5- To enjoy God's presence

I think I just found a key to those 5 benefits!!

Deuteronomy 10:12-13
12~"And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God require of you? He requires only that you fear the Lord your God, and live in a way that pleases him, and love him and serve him with all your heart and soul.
13~And you must always obey the Lord's commands and decrees that I am giving you today for your own good.

The "Additional Content" that goes along with my readings stated this....
Often we ask, "What does God expect from me?" Here Moses gives a summary that is simple in form and easy to remember. Here are the essentials: (1) Fear God; (2) Live in a way that pleases him; (3) Love him; (4) Serve him with all your heart and soul; and (5) Obey his commands. Too often we complicate faith with man-made rules, regulations, and requirements. Are you frustrated and burned out from trying hard to please God?

Concentrate on his real requirements and find peace. Respect, follow, love, serve, and obey

OK.... WOW!! How simple! Thank you Lord for sharing this word with me today! It's totally a summary of what He wants from us. Like the statement above said... Too often we complicate faith with man-made rules, regulations, and requirements. This causes our frustration, our burn out, our stress, our failure to submit to his authority... and the list goes on!! This definitely put a few things into perspective for me this morning & I pray it does for you too! In essence we're TRYING TO HARD TO PLEASE GOD & this causes us to give up!

I pray Lord today that you help all of us concentrate on YOUR requirements for us to help us find REAL PEACE.... RESPECT YOU, FOLLOW YOU, LOVE YOU, SERVE YOU & OBEY YOU!

Daily Reading Day 11

S- Exodus 28:3 Call all the skilled workers to whom I have given ability, and tell them to make Aaron's clothes, so that he may be dedicated as a priest in my service.

O- The tailors who made Aaron's garments were given wisdom by God in order to do their task. All of us have special skills. God wants to fill us with his Spirit so we will use those skills for his glory. Think about your special talents and abilities. What ways could you use them for God's work in the world? As you focus on helping and giving to others, God will show you the best ways to do it and give you wisdom to accomplish the task.

 

A- Going along with our bible study - Breaking Free (Beth Moore) I think this goes along hand in hand with giving God the glory. When we're filled the his Spirit we recognize God in us and in that we also recognize the gifts He has given to us to use for His glory & for His kingdom! Sounds so simple, why do we continue to make it so hard?

 

P-Lord, let me realize & recognize the gifts You have given to me to use to show wYour glory to others & in turn give glory to You!

Overcome

I'm feeling under attack & have been since the beginning of the year. I started this year with a fast & this bible study and feel I'm learning so much & actually "hearing" from God thru His word more than ever during this time but I constantly have this heaviness (attack) feeling hanging over me. Not sure what it is specifically. Felt much better after reading my daily bible word (from yesterday cause I was a day behind) and thought I'd share it with y'all along with the commentary that was posted with it.

Exodus 1:12, NLT ~ But the more the Egyptians oppressed them, the more the Israelites multiplied and spread, and the more alarmed the Egyptians became.

The Egyptians tried to wear down the Hebrew people by forcing them into slavery & mistreating them. Instead, the Hebrews multiplied & grew stronger. When we are burdened or mistreated, we may feel defeated (as I've been feeling some this past month). But, our burdens can make us stronger & can develop qualities in us that will prepare us for the future.

We cannot be overcomers without troubles to overcome!

Be true to God in the hard times because even the worst situations can make us better people.

The statement "We cannot be overcomers without troubles to overcome!" really stood out to me today. I am doing what God wants, I'm reading His word & spending time with Him, getting to know Him. That's maybe why I feel attack? I'm on the right track & Satan doesn't want that. He's trying to distract me.

Lord, you've told us over & over throughout this bible study to "call upon You for help" & that's what I need today. I need Your favor and grace and mercy upon me. I need Your guidance and assurance that I'm doing the right thing and these pressures are just a distraction from Satan! Lord, help me overcome & be a better person!

Good Works

S - Genesis 15:6, NLT ~ And Abram believed the Lord, and the Lord counted him as righteous because of his faith.

O - Although Abram had been demonstrating his faith thru his actions, it was his belief in the Lord, not his actions, that made Abram right with God. We, too, can have a right relationship with God by trusting Him. Our outward actions - church attendance, prayer, good deeds - will not by themselves make us right with God. A right relationship is based on faith - the heartfelt inner confidence that God is who He says He is and does what He says He will do!

A - I need to trust God! I also need to believe He will do what His Word says He will do. I need that inward confidence in Christ and not just rely on my outward actions to make this a relationship!  So many times we get caught up in the "business" of a relationship with Christ we often forget that He wants us to trust in Him & believe in Him. Not just to "show" Him but to rely on Him.

P - Lord, please help me in my quest for a "relationship" with You! I have all the actions down just fine, now I need to focus on trusting & believing in You. I know I believe & trust but I just need to put those things into action in my life on a daily basis. Not just in times of trials, but DAILY!

Life Application Study Bible Devotion Reading Plan - Day 1

I finished my 21 day fast and reading plan so am on to another reading plan. This one is the Life Application Study Bible Devotion Reading Plan thru YouVersion.  I LOVE THIS APP!! This reading plan is for 1 year so I will have all the reading I can handle each day ;-) Loving the fact I'm making myself accountable to actually reading scripture each day. My downfall is procrastination and lack of dedication when it comes to reading my bible & praying daily. If I get it done once a week, I'm doing good! As you can also see... I've got to step it up & do more SOAPs to keep up with my reading :-) ok... one thing at a time I guess... lol!

Today's SOAP

S - Psalm 6:6, NLT I am worn out from sobbing. All night I flood my bed with weeping, drenching it with my tears.

O - (My observation is coming from the "Additional Content" of the reading plan in YouVersion. They usually have a great devotional or statement with each scripture)
Pouring out his heart with tears, David was completely honest with God. We can be honest with God even when we are filled with anger or despair because God knows us thoroughly and wants the very best for us. Anger may result in rash outward acts or turning inward toward depression. But because we trust in our all-powerful God, we don't have to be victims of circumstance or be weighted down by the guilt of sin. Be honest with God, and he will help you turn your attention from yourself to him and his mercy.

A - Wow! I needed to hear that today! Been plagued with stress this week. Not sleeping well, not feeling well & feeling of depression is coming over me. I'm having to continually remind myself that "God is in control, NOT ME!"  I am a control freak & when things are beyond me I tend to worry... A LOT! I need to use the time that my mind begins mulling over situations/issues to cry out to God.  To be honest with him & let him take over.  Why can I not just give it to him & let him keep it? I've seen him work miracles before but yet I cling... cling to the things that don't matter rather than cling to his promises. I've been doing this for a long time & have talked to others about why they do it but don't always heed my own advice. Why? Do I truly think I can make things better??  I'm loving this Beth Moore book & know it's helping me work through these issues. All things come together for His Glory!!

P - Lord, help me realize my weakness & when I have those feelings of needing to handle things, let me hand them to you. When I feel frustrated or depressed let me weep, sob & cry out to you! Let me not just "hear" your word but let me "learn it & apply it"

Testimony from Zoe Youth Ski Trip 1-14-11 thru 1-17-11

I've been a little off on my journalling but have stayed on with my reading of the Word since I've been gone. Back to work today & had time to write this. Trying to catch up on Beth Moore reading.... but, I just had to share this!

I've been a Christian & youth sponsor for a long time now... I've shared my testimony with many young girls (one on one or small group) over the years but I have this fear of speaking in front of large groups! Stage fright as it might be, but God pushed me this past Sunday night! Right in front of about 45 people! I usually get tongue tied & so nervous I forget what I need to say or do but wow! the Holy Spirit put me in my place!

Let me preface this with the fact that we had 1 girl who does not believe in God & 2 others that say they do & praise like they do but live like the world (sexually & with drugs/alcohol). I knew these girls were "faking" it the night before & for some time before & one in particular has been on my heart for some time but the timing has not been right for me to approach her about her lifestyle.  Our night began with a meeting of our sponsors & a time of prayer over the room, worship team & for lives to be changed. In that prayer time sponsors prayed for direction of the service, walls to be torn down, freedom from past sins & for God's touch in the lives of the students. We were open for anything God put on our hearts that night & Andrew (our youth pastor) asked that if anyone had anything to share during service to please let him know.

Service started. I was in back just enjoying worship but reflecting on what was spoken in prayer & my heart was heavy for these 3 girls. I stayed in back praying & worshiping & speaking directly to God about these 3 (& watching them to see how they were responding to the worship & later message). Andrew's B-I-L spoke about God's love & redemption from things in our pasts then we went back into worship.

I began feeling this heaviness on my heart & words kept coming to my mind to tell these girls but I wasn't sure if it was for the whole group or for when they came for prayer later... so I kept waiting. My heart is pounding & all of a sudden, my feet are on fire!  I feel this physical burning in my feet & it's working its way up to the top of my head! I'm about to explode! I went up front to Andrew & told him "I need to give my testimony, now" and he said to me that God told him someone was going to give their testimony that night. Needless to say, I began shaking (the stage freight kicked in high gear) but I stood in front of these kids & gave the testimony of my life! I know those were not my words but what God wanted them to hear. All I can truly remember is asking them "why do you hold on to your sin?" "what purpose does it serve you?" It was an amazing feeling to be used by God & spoken thru by Him! I've truly never had that experience before & when it was over I was calm (& cool, literally) lol....

When Andrew gave the alter call a short while later, the girl who'd been on my heart for months came to me! She said it was like I tattooed those words right on her forehead! Truly from God! I told her how I'd been wanting to approach her about things she's been doing but hadn't felt she was ready to receive it but thank God she was last Sunday! She'd been pushing away all the young girls in our youth group every time they approached her about her troubles & that night she gave them all to God. She released her feelings of rejection, of confusion & fear & turned back to God. She is no longer a "luke-warm Christian"!!! Praise God!!

I wanted to share this because I believe God is moving in this group & bringing us all together for a purpose. Maybe not a group purpose but maybe to be that voice to someone else outside of our group. I've been doing a 21 day fast (corporately with our church) & I also believe that has helped in my hearing from God this past weekend. He does honor us when we do as requested of us.... prayer, fasting & knowing His Word!

P.S. The other two girls also had a touch... the other one being luke-warm has a good friend that is working with her to get her to that place where she loves God more than the parties & after our service, she asked for prayer & that she knows she needs to stop the partying. Please lift her in prayer as I'm not sure she's on God's track 100% yet.  The girl who doesn't believe talked with one of our younger sponsors that night & spilled her family history with her. Said she never shares because there's abuse (physical) in her home & that with all the pain they live in, she doesn't see God in that or that He cares because he's never taken them out of the situation. She had questions about God's love & how we could believe in something we couldn't see. She broke down into tears & was embarassed because "she never cries". She's very tough physically & emotionally & is not the crying type so I know in my heart she was feeling God in her soul that night. She just hasn't processed her feeling that & what she is questioning. Also, pray for her that God continues to show himself to her in ways she doesn't expect & that she "gets' it!!

A Hymn of Praise

S- Psalm 100:1-5
1 Sing to the LORD, all the world! 2 Worship the LORD with joy; come before him with happy songs! 3 Acknowledge that the LORD is God. He made us, and we belong to him; we are his people, we are his flock. 4 Enter the Temple gates with thanksgiving; go into its courts with praise. Give thanks to him and praise him. 5 The LORD is good; his love is eternal and his faithfulness lasts forever.

O - Can't believe this is day 8 of the 21 day fast! Longest fast I've ever done! Feeling good and getting so much out of my bible reading & reading blogs from all of you in this bible study group! I've learned so much & many things are being revealed to me about myself & my relationship with God! Today my fasting instructions and scripture reading are to stop & praise God. I am to refocus from the burden's that I've been bringing before Him and spend today being joyful in the Lord.  I definately don't spend enough time being joyful! 

A - I will praisethe Lord, I will sing praises to Him. Today will be focused on Him with praise & thanksgiving. He has brought me from the depths of sin into His glorious light & I will celebrate!!

P- v.5 - The Lord is good; his love is eternal and his faithfulness lasts forever. ~Amen~

True Fasting

Isaiah 58
1 The LORD says, “Shout as loud as you can! Tell my people Israel about their sins!
2 They worship me every day, claiming that they are eager to know my ways and obey my laws. They say they want me to give them just laws and that they take pleasure in worshiping me.”
3 The people ask, “Why should we fast if the LORD never notices? Why should we go without food if he pays no attention?”
The LORD says to them, “The truth is that at the same time you fast, you pursue your own interests and oppress your workers. 4 Your fasting makes you violent, and you quarrel and fight. Do you think this kind of fasting will make me listen to your prayers?
5 When you fast, you make yourselves suffer; you bow your heads low like a blade of grass and spread out sackcloth and ashes to lie on. Is that what you call fasting? Do you think I will be pleased with that?6 “The kind of fasting I want is this: Remove the chains of oppression and the yoke of injustice, and let the oppressed go free.
7 Share your food with the hungry and open your homes to the homeless poor. Give clothes to those who have nothing to wear, and do not refuse to help your own relatives.8 “Then my favor will shine on you like the morning sun, and your wounds will be quickly healed. I will always be with you to save you; my presence will protect you on every side.
9 When you pray, I will answer you. When you call to me, I will respond.
“If you put an end to oppression, to every gesture of contempt, and to every evil word; 10 if you give food to the hungry and satisfy those who are in need, then the darkness around you will turn to the brightness of noon. 11 And I will always guide you and satisfy you with good things. I will keep you strong and well. You will be like a garden that has plenty of water, like a spring of water that never goes dry.
12 Your people will rebuild what has long been in ruins, building again on the old foundations. You will be known as the people who rebuilt the walls, who restored the ruined houses.”
13 The LORD says, “If you treat the Sabbath as sacred and do not pursue your own interests on that day; if you value my holy day and honor it by not traveling, working, or talking idly on that day,
14 then you will find the joy that comes from serving me. I will make you honored all over the world, and you will enjoy the land I gave to your ancestor, Jacob. I, the LORD, have spoken.”

O- Wow! What a word! This message was to his people who were frustrated with His lack of response to their fasting. Our fasting is not a starvation campaign to get God to "do" what we want, it's a humbling experience for us! It's not a time to make us physically suffer, it's a time to overlook our physical needs to see others around us & their daily needs. The Lord will respond but only when we fast for His glory & not our own selfishness!

A- Thank you Lord for this insight! I'm only fasting cokes these 21 days but see the steps I need to take in a different light already thru your Word. I originally started this fast our of request from church for a corporate fast (never have participated before), the beginning of this new bible study (to hear more from God during this time) & to get healthier. I'm at a point I neeed to re-evaluate my reasons... this should be a time to honor God, not just do it because....

P - From this point on, please Lord, honor my fast as a sacrifice to You and help me to see others around me that are struggling. Lord, use me... show me.... teach me...